Comfortable Imperfection

There should be a jealousy for the Lord's honour and, compassion for men's souls like a well-spring ever in the heart; and then the outgoing effort should be with all the wisdom of the serpent and the harmlessness of the dove; and "if any lack wisdom, let him ask of God." -William Arnot
There is beauty in weeds.
I have been asking God to grow me, I have been begging for Him to clean out my weeds.  It is definitely a big job because I've got a lot of junk floating around in my heart.  I refuse to put my God in a box and I am trusting that He will clean me out in His loving and gentle way.

I strongly believe that God has given me a unique perspective on life.  I did not come to this realization easily nor quickly.  All my young life was spent altering my views to fit comfortably with those surrounding me in life so that I would not "be wrong". I struggled to achieve my own opinions and perceptions. I gained a perspective early in life that making mistakes or being different was not okay. Perfection was the goal. I desperately tried to teach myself character traits, talents, and alter my appearance just to "fit in".  Insecurity was the name of the game and I was a big player.

Fast forward to my adult years and I still struggle with insecurities.  The difference now, I am way more comfortable in my own skin and with the gifts God has blessed me with.  I have nurtured my faith and relationship to my King, it is my own.  I say the wrong things, I give the wrong advice, and I certainly don't have it all together.  Satan knows my weakness and thankfully he is NOT creative so he keeps trying the same tactics over and over.  His attacks are getting weaker because I am getting stronger.  My strength is coming from a higher understanding.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10
Instead of striving for perfection, I am now in the process of being okay in my imperfection.  I am on a journey of growing in the knowledge of who God is and what a ride it is!

For those of you who cross my path on a regular basis, I humbly ask for your grace and kindness when I display my imperfection to you.  Know that my heart is genuine and true.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. -Marilyn Monroe
(by this quote alone, I believe Norma Jean and myself to be kindred spirits)