I want to know how to fold laundry with my toes because my hands are occupied with homework help and dishes while coordinating my social calendar because my children are involved in multiple sports and after-school activities without forgetting to grocery shop, meal plan, and cook three meals a day (all healthy meals of course, pffftt). And let's not forget to brush up on my refereeing skills because the many fights my loving children will have with each other will out number the gold fish cracker crumbs stuffed into the seats of my swagger wagon. Meanwhile, keeping up-to-date on the newest fashion trends and must-have Mom gadgets all with a smile on my face and keeping the dog from eating my shoe (#dexterno). Oh yes, and let's not forget to exercise so that I can find the energy to keep my house as tidy as possible so when Better Homes and Gardens calls to confirm my photo shoot, I will be ready.
[insert eye rolling here]
Being a Mom is hard and I'm wondering why nobody ever talks about that at baby showers or the whole 9 months you are growing a child? No one tells you that your sweet, adorable, angel of a baby might someday scream at you with rage in their eyes and say "you are the worst parent in the world, I hate you!" and you are supposed to ignore the emotional punch to the gut because you are the adult afterall.
No amount of advice, child-rearing books, or girlfriend chats could have prepared me for the incredibly demanding job of being a Mom; this situation is a "throw her in the pool and hope she can swim" kind of scenario. White picket fences? No way. More like "sharpie art" on the new couch.
Being a Mom is absolutely, without a doubt, not for the faint of heart.
BUT. (you knew that was coming, right?)
Here are a few things I am learning through all of this chaos...
One. I adore my children. Like seriously looooove them. The word love and all its meanings does not adequately envelop what I feel for my kids. Yes, they drive me crazy at times and hurt my feelings on occasion but, I would do it over and over and over again a million times. I am God's Nanny for these three blessings and I am so thankful for the job.
Two. I owe my Mom a million apologies and I am so thankful she didn't ship me off to Neverland because I totally deserved it. Thank you, Mum.
Three. I don't believe in that phrase "God only gives us what we can handle" and here's why... if God only gave us what we could handle, we wouldn't need Him and I. Need. Jesus. I need him like I need air.
"Am I better than I was a year ago?"
That is all I can do, improve on who I am and what I've been given. I have to cut the crap of trying to be Carol Brady or June Cleaver and embrace my Lucy-ness.
I also get to honor my incredible Mom who has been an amazing example of grace, humor, love, generosity, and sweetness all rolled into one. And, my Mother-in-law who has adopted me as her own, loves me endlessly, and continues to teach me so many things.
I also want to say the following:
To my husband. Thank you for doing this parenting thing with me. You are the mac to my cheese (yay! cheese!) And thanks for the late night froyo to clear up the tears last night.
To my Mama girlfriends. You keep me sane with our Starbucks chats, our mani/pedi dates, our clearance rack shopping, watching my kids, scheduling playdates, bus stop walks and more. You are my village (you know who you are) and I adore you. May your Mother's Day be full of blessings.
To the Mommies By Heart. For some of you, this holiday hurts. Its a reminder of the months of negative pregnancy tests and heartache you feel longing for a child. To you, I say thank you. Thank you for smiling and listening genuinely to the stories of my kids, for asking about their well-being, and loving on my Babies. You play a huge role in my life by reminding me that Motherhood is to be treasured and that I too once longed to be a Mama. I can only pray, cry and hope alongside you until you celebrate your first Mother's Day.
ps, Writing is such good therapy.